Winners and Losers
In the privacy of our minds, we all talk to ourselves. One might ask whether a self-talk, which is an inner monologue is pointless. In fact, one scientific paper on self-talk asks: What can we tell ourselves that we don’t already know? Researchers, however, observed that self-talk – the act of giving ourselves mental messages can help us learn and perform at our best. A review of more than two dozen studies published in the journal, Perspectives on Psychological Science about a couple of years ago, found that there is another kind of mental message that is even more useful, called instructional self-talk.
Denis Waitley, the renowned psychologist, who created the very useful and highly acclaimed program, The Psychology of Winning describes ten principles that could help cultivate winning habits based on his research studying the behaviors of super achievers in various occupations. He has presented detailed action steps for each of these ten winning principles that are eminently implementable. He also explained what winners and losers say to themselves during their process of self-talk. These would be of help in identifying one’s current behaviors and to reinforce or change them for better.
|Winner’s Self-Talk||Loser’s Say to Themselves|
|I was good today. I’ll be better tomorrow.||With my luck, I was bound to fail.|
|I Want to! I can do it!||I have to. I can’t!|
|I see myself changing, growing, achieving, and winning.||They’re my hangups, faults and stupidities … and I’m stuck with them.|
|I have a plan to make it happen. I’ll do what is necessary to get what I want.||I’ll try to hang in there – muddle through the day somehow.|
|I take credit or blame for my performance.||I can’t understand why life did this to me.|
|Of course I can do it! I’ve practiced it mentally a thousand times.||How can you expect me to do it? I don’t know how?|
|I do things well because I’m that type of person.||I’d rather be somebody else.|
|I live every moment, enjoying as much, relating as much, giving as much as I possibly can.||I’m only concerned with me today.|
|I know who I am, where I am coming from and where I am going.||Who knows what I could do if only I had the chance.|
|Tell me what you want, may be we can work on it together.||There is no point in discussing it, we are not even on the same wavelength.|
Self-Talk has a powerful impact on emotional well-being and motivation. Becoming aware of exactly what you are saying to yourself about yourself can help you understand why you react the way you do to events and people in your life. It can also give you a handle on controlling your moods, repeating your successes and short-circuiting your shortcomings.